A Little World Cup Accident

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the analysis of the first half of the women's World Cup final between Brazil and Germany. My name is Marc Johnson, and I now hand over to my colleague on the sidelines, Vicky Gonzales, on time for the kick-off.

Thank you very much, Marc. This is Vicky Gonzales, and I greet you for the second half. Thanks in advance to the sponsor of the final, the Reduction Sports Energy Drink. The RSE Drink keeps you fit, refreshed, and lets the pounds melt. During the half-time break, our players were also given enough RSE to maintain their strength for the next 45 minutes. But now back to the game. The German team just got a penalty kick, a great opportunity to take the lead. The penalty will be taken by Karla Michels, an absolute specialist. Say Marc, can it be that Karla didn't get a suitable jersey to change at half time? It seems a few sizes too big to me. Anyway, Karla starts up and... woah, has she just lost a shoe? No, both shoes. Marc, I can't believe my eyes, Karla loses all of her clothes while running! She...she seems smaller. I think she actually gets smaller the closer she gets to the ball. Now she stumbles over her fallen jersey and flips over. An uncomfortable impact. She is only as big as the ball.

But she doesn't seem to be the only one, the goalkeeper and the other players around are also starting to shrink! What are we witnessing right now, Marc?

Vicky? Marc here. We have received an urgent notification from the Reduction Sports Company. Something is wrong with the formula of the RSE drink. The drink burns much more than just fat it seems.

Marc? Did you say something? I think my headphones fell off. Hey, why is my microphone so heavy? Wait, did you say the RSE drink causes the shrinkage? I also tried a few cups during the break! Marc? Hey Marc!

Here is Marc Johnson back in the studio and we are pausing the transmission for a few messages from our advertising partners.

Story by callrudy
Artwork by Vincenzo Pietropaolo, Slasher

High resolution (3720x5262)

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